FF: Jesus hates Klingons

(Repost from 3 March, 2010)

Um, no intro is fitting to this... video. Just watch it:


I have no idea what the source of this video was. It looks like a parody at first glance, but hey, I know firsthand the kind of cheese Christians produce in the name of Christ. "Star Tracts" could well be something from the depths of the Charismatic wing of evangelicalism. Why the Charismatic, you ask? I have many videos that are of the same vein, my friends. (*shudder*)

As a nerd as well as a Christian, I find this offensive on many levels.

So, here are some thoughts in the order that they entered in my head.  While I know a lot of this was intended to be tongue-in-cheek...
  • Inexplicably, the Enterprise has been turned into a flying shark. So, insert jumping shark joke here.
  • There has been an apparent tear in the fabric of the time-space continuum, which the only explanation of the multiple-generation mixture of uniforms.  They did that after investing time in a decent  Klingons' makeup job... so, why?
  • The man in the commander's chair at 0:20 is sporting a metallic bumper-style fish instead of the standard Starfleet insignia!
  • Why is the captain of a United Federation of (Christian?) Planets ship called "Captain Retard" by his Christian crew? This is an obvious wordplay on "Picard" from TNG, but is so inappropriate as to be baffling. So, the message of this is that if you are a Christian who loses his joy, then you're a retard. Uplifting, that.
  • The command hierarchy of this Christian federation is an interesting one: a "pretend" captain? The XO is not the acting CO when the captain is away. Nope. Some dude from below deck is called up to make believe. Every nerd's fantasy: to command the flagship shark with a crew that feels free to call names and sneak kick-me signs on their commander.
  • The Bible is the Christian's "weapons manual." That's a... unique view of the purpose of Scripture.
  • The Christian's tongue can be his own doom. Now you understand why I have my suspicions as to the source - the underlying theology is "name it and claim it" in variety. Christians can become ensnared by the words of their mouths.
  • Those rascally, uncircumcised Philistone Klingons! What shall we even do with that statement? 
  • I guess this guitarist is trying to wax Davidic.
  • Klingons rock. Christians are acoustic, campy, and slightly off-key.
  • You can defeat your adversary by failing to mention Jesus and by wishing him bodily harm ("sit on a phaser").
  • The host who found this gem is called "Everything is terrible," and I have to agree with that sentiment.
SUMMARY: In an attempt to be relevant and clever, these Christians give an unbelieving world even more fodder for LOLs. (Hey, that was kindy trendy, too.) The message of the cross is foolish to those who are lost, no matter how hip we try to make it.  Once we realize that, we can preach the Word with freedom from such nonsense.

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